I just got e-mail from my stepfather telling me my mother is in the hospital with advanced diabetes. It came from nowhere and just hit her like a ton of bricks.

Please make it stop.


My mother's health has been a yoke on her back ever since she got a staphlococcus infection from a botched hysterectomy in 1976. She's had to deal with cervical cancer, breast cancer ...

and now this. It's not fucking FAIR.

I don't want her to have to think about amputation or dialysis or insulin or FUCKING GLUCOSE LEVELS or DIABETIC COMAS. She doesn't FUCKING DESERVE THIS FUCKING SHIT. Her brother, a multiFUCKINGmillionaire, drank himself to death and was in good health and good humor all the way down, selfish bastard. My mother, a non-drinking, non-smoking, hard-working single mom has had NOTHING but physical and emotional anguish for nearly thirtyFUCKING years. Her mother died from Alzheimer's Disease. Her brother died because his liver finally gave up. Her father's had a lung removed. Her first husband was an ass. Both her sons have had to battle addiction and crises relating to their adoptions. Jeezus, I feel like Billy Bob Thornton's character in Primary Colors going on about what a wonderful, cursed person my mamma is. But there you have it.

I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do. Please don't die, Mommy. Please, please, please, be well. Please be safe and all right and warm and loved.

I would like to say, as pointed contrast to some of the comments about e2 politics contained within this date's daylog entries, that the flood of msg's I've received from fellow noders expressing concern, well wishes, and compassion for my mother truly make my heart swell with pride at being privileged enough to be part of this particular online community. Yes, we can bump up against each other's rough edges. Yes, we've all been hurt by seemingly personal attacks on the things we choose to share with everyone here. And, yes, sometimes even the gods can be cruel. But you know what? You can search high and low and you won't be able to another place like everything2. In the end, I think we sometimes tend to lose sight of what's really important to us all. It certainly ain't XP or nodes that have been nuked, maliciously or otherwise. End of line.