Okay, so there aren't many.

...But we all have to put some sort of meaning into our lives, even while we're holding down a job that involves meaningless tasks and meaningless associations. So, there's lots of joys to temping... the 45 minute smoke breaks where no one notices you're missing, the fact that the only thing anyone wants from you is to flirt (why does everyone flirt with secretaries?!?) with you or ignore you completely, the way the younger lawyers (did i mention it's a law firm?) seem embarrased when they interrupt your reading/email/web browsing/drooling/etc to have you do something...

...But there's one really big perk. You see: I'm a floating temp secretary. People get vacations where they get to go home and do nothing as opposed to being at work and doing nothing. Someone thinks someone should be sitting at work and doing nothing and get paid as opposed to sitting at home and doing nothing and collecting unemployment. That's where I come in. This really only has one perk. I go through their stuff. Cause they have to leave me the keys. I might need something you see.

But I never need what they have.


So, I thought I'd share. I thought you might want to learn what I find in the average desk of the average secretary at your average big scarey NYC law firm. It's fun and games. And we're going to forget about the pens and nail files and file folders and records and holiday schedules. Those are no fun. These are:
Blackberry Jelly.
Band Aids.
Plastic flowers stuffed into the back of the drawer.
Romance novels.
Stuffed Animals.
and yes, Condoms.

Add all those things up, and someone's having a much more interesting day than I am. They might actually be doing something at work, although that certainly isn't on my job description, and I usually try to leave the band aids out of it.

Of course, once you get a bunch of rubbered-up lawyers in a room filled with blackberry jelly carrying pink fuzzy bunnies handing each other plastic flowers and rubbing vasoline all over each other's toes like they read in Midnight in Ruby Bayou who knows what would happen. Better keep the Band Aids.