You mean I get to use other people’s copyrighted characters in an adventure of my own sick devising, all the while imitating the man who singlehandedly brought literary respectability (however briefly) to American comics? JOY!
This is my “Summer 2001
- Willow Rosenberg, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (as portrayed by Alyson Hannigan). Witch, hacker, and occasional flutist.
- Tyler Durden, from Fight Club (as portrayed by Edward Norton). Explosives expert. Also spectacular in bed, for those James Bond-type missions.
- Lornette “Mace” Mason, from Strange Days (as portrayed by Angela Bassett). She knows firearms, martial arts, and vehicles, and she don’t take no art-school crap from no skinny white boys (see above).
- Alobar, from Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins. Ex-King of Bohemia, voluntarily immortal through clean living, willpower, and nookie. His hundreds of years have granted him prodigious wisdom.
- Easter, from American Gods by Neil Gaiman. The pagan goddess of Dawn, with diminished powers due to centuries of neglect. She also has much wisdom, possibly more. Jovial team leader.
- Dr. Funkenstein, from P-Funk. Shoots enemies with his Bop Gun. Also provides transportation for the team in the form of the Mothership.
The first nefarious plot they would stop would be the conspiracy by the Teletubbies and David Manning to enslave the minds of American youth with corporate crap, defended by the high-powered Ally McBeal. I won’t tell you exactly how the summer squad wins, but it involves pentacles, shotguns, and BOOTY.