I woke up in the middle of the night. Kendall rolled over and looked at the
clock and said "6:30
GMT! Great time to get up!". He got up and started pissing in the corner by the alarm clock. I sat up and said "Kendall, what are you doing?" He ignored me and kept pissing. I threw a pillow at him and he looked at me and started pissing all over the walls and floor. I looked at him and realised that he was still asleep, sleepwalking. I got up and shook him and slapped him to try to get him to wake up. But he turned around, grabbed me and pissed on me and started to choke me. I
passed out.
***
I woke up on my side of the bed at the usual time, rolled over and looked at Kendall, still asleep. Ah, it was just a dream. I got up and walked over to the closet. The alarm started blaring, so I walked over to turn it off. I stepped on something cold and wet. I looked down and the floor is all covered in piss. I whirled toward Kendall and he is awake and looking at me. I said "It wasn't a dream! You did this!", pointing at the piss on the floor. Then I see that he still has the sleepwalking look in his eyes, and I remember how he choked me, and I back away towards the door. He gets up out of the bed and starts coming toward me.
I run away.
I run into someone's house and I see Kendall riding down the street backwards on a Japanese crotch rocket. He says he's coming for me. I run out and climb in an SUV, but he's there waiting for me, so I run out side. He throws miniature axes at me and they hit my hands. I throw them back at him, but then never seem to stick in him. He throws a circular saw blade at me and I manage to avoid it. It grinds itself into the shape of a Ninja Star and I throw it at him and cut him in half.
Then I wake up.
I roll over and look at Kendall, still sleeping. He wakes up a little and throws his arm around me and pulls me to him in a spoon. I tell him, "I just had the strangest dream."