For all that it's April Fools' Day today, there doesn't seem to have been a whole lot of April Fooling going on. Maybe it's too childish; maybe it's a waste of time; maybe it's too mean-spirited. In any of these three cases, it's a perfect thing for me to do, and today I successfully executed the best April Fools Day joke I've ever even attempted.

And it was so simple! All it took was a single LiveJournal entry and my knowledge of the fact that my friends know how much I dislike it when they post lengthy journals about how miserable their lives are. Imagine, then, their surprise when out of the blue I posted this:

fucked up

the emptiest of feelings. sentimental drivel. clinging onto bottles. when it comes it's so so. dissapointing let down and hanging around. crushed like a bug in the ground. let down and haNGiNG around. shell smashed. juices flowing. wings twitch. legs are going. donT geT senTimental. it always ends up dRRiveLLLL.

-Radiohead, "Let Down"

I can tell this is going to be another miserable day.

Breakfast tasted like ashes. I hate this weather - I came up here expecting to be snowed on in the spring and it's fucking 56 degrees.

I don't know. I'm just getting to the point where I feel like everything I do is worthless. It's obvious that no one around here gives a shit about me - the only ones who do are hundreds or thousands of miles away and I don't tell them nearly often enough how much I appreciate them for liking me in spite of myself. I'm drifting away from the people who care the most about me.

How long have I been deluding myself (and apparently you too, dear readers)? No, screw that, let's just look at the facts. I can't write for shit. Can't dance, that's for sure. I'm no good at math, no matter what my friends tell me to make me feel better about myself. Ditto programming; why the hell do you think I use fucking Python? Can't play guitar - that's what the headphones are for. Sure as hell can't sing.

Oh, and what discoflamingo wrote a little while ago about being clever? Yeah, that was just about the closest anyone's ever come to understanding. Obviously I must just be cheerful as hell all the time because I have something witty to say! Simple as that! But you bought it, so I guess it must make sense. And I guess it must be easier than bothering to figure out the truth.

Yeah. I'll stop wasting your time now...

Happy April Fool's Day everyone.

I got some comments deploring my participating in the very whining I despise before I added that last sentence, and my mother called me on the phone and greeted me with "You are the most evil son ever." When my roommate got home I told him I had pulled off the best April Fools' Day joke of my life, and he said "Oh, that Livejournal? You fucker!" It was the proudest moment of my life.

All in a day's work. And now, thanks to the wonder of e2, this moment will be preserved long after I have grown up and deleted my Livejournal from the face of the planet.

Yes, I'm using a daylog to get to level 2, and trust me, I feel really bad about it. No, seriously. Just not bad enough not to do it.