You Brits who complain about baseball being a confusing, pointless sport have no idea how silly you sound after the American to whom you've been complaining gets his first look at a cricket match.

At least in our bats-and-balls sport...

  • There is one clear place for a batter to stand, and three clear, ordered places for runners to stand. The pitcher can't spin around and decide "Oh, hell, I think I'll pitch to the runner on second base" -- he might throw the ball there, but that's just to keep him from going anywhere. If the runner makes it all the way around, he's finished -- none of this running back and forth between the same bases/wickets for hours.
  • There is fair territory and foul territory. The two are not that confusing. Hit the ball in one place, it's good. Hit it in the other, it's bad, and a fan might get a souvenir. There's none of this "I'm lazy, I don't think I'll run this time" stuff; if it's a fair ball, the batter runs. There's no choice in the matter.
  • Our guys swing stick, hit ball. Your batsmen look like golfers with a rather screwed-up club (looks like a paddle designed by some sadistic boarding school teacher who didn't want to get too close to the boys when he was spanking them). Hasn't anybody taught you people about the importance of a smooth, level swing?
  • Hell, everyone out on the cricket field (er, pitch) looks like a golfer wearing white dress pants and a polo shirt. Get some decent-looking uniforms. And no, I don't mean the ones like your soccer players have where any square inch of fabric visible is up for sale to the highest bidder. Put a team name on the front, maybe a manufacturer's label on the sleeve if necessary, and name and number (or maybe even just number) on the back. That's all.
  • Even hallowed Wrigley Field put up lights back in 1989, the last major league stadium to do so. Most of us got tired of this calling-games-due-to-darkness crap back in the 1960s.
  • Your games last four days, and even the "short" versions last a full day. While our baseball players are trying to make their games last all night (actually, it's mostly the television people broadcasting the games that are doing it), we won't let them.
  • In baseball, "Let's play two" is a quote from a great man who loved the game. Two games in a day (a "doubleheader") is a fan's dream. In cricket, it's a logical absurdity.