Item! The stars came out early today to celebrate the election of Hillary Clinton as New York senator. Avoiding the glitz of a star-studded Election Night gala held by high-powered Clinton friends Harvey Weinstein, Tina Brown and Michael Bloomberg, the First Family instead opted for a cozy get-together on their 34th floor suite at the Grand Hyatt Hotel.

Inviting 50 of their closest friends and supporters, the Clintons watched the historic election night unfold in style. The small crowd of political allies, finanicial backers and Hollywood elite alternately cheered and moaned as key states and seats were awarded to Democratic friends and Republican foes. Predictably, much of the gossip and often scathing political humor circled around Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush, but third party spoilsport Ralph Nader became a frequent topic as the night grew long. Initial ecstasy transformed into concern and finally settled on tired ennui in the wee hours of the morning. Nonetheless, the Clinton camp toasted the wisdom of New York voters in choosing Mrs. Clinton as their new senator, while the presidential race remained in doubt.

Among the overheard bits of gossip:

Harvey Weinstein: "I grew up believing that Ralph Nader was a great leader, a folk hero. No more!"

Hillary Clinton: [on Ben Affleck] "He really brought out a huge crowd at Cornell."
Affleck: "Too bad none of them were old enough to vote."

Uma Thurman: [on the televised debates] "It made me really miss you."
President Bill Clinton: "The press was pro-Bush. They set an impossibly high standard, an absurdly high standard, for Gore. It was disgusting."

Harry Evans (Tina Brown's husband): "I want to kill Nader!"
Hillary Clinton: "That's not a bad idea!"

Now, now, Hillary - don't let the newspapers catch you being naughty on Your Night!


Quotes as reported by the Washington Post. I was somehow drunk enough to write the rest. Hey, don't laugh. A couple more nodes like this and I'll get my own column in USA Today.