Sometimes, I'll walk alone in the dark
of the house. All the lights off, everyone asleep
, and I'll just wander up and down the hall, through the kitchen, trying not to touch anything
, nothing at all.
I can't see
, and I can pretend that I'm in the middle of a large living room
, that there's nothing but empty space near me, and if I jump
I still won't be able to touch the ceilings.
But when I spin around in the dark
, and brush against a wall, I follow it back to the bedroom, where I end up sitting in front of the computer again, smoking
And I don't understand
why that makes me so sad.