It grows on me, when I’m alone.

Anger comes so very rarely; that I think it makes up for the frequency in its intensity. It consumes me when it comes; it obliterates all other feelings, all other considerations. I only want others to hurt.

Sometimes, I come very close to letting myself do just that.


I’m very upset with Jessica right now. Anything I write about the situation will be unfair, or hurtful, or both.

Suffice it to say that she is very adept at pushing my buttons when she chooses to.


I want to be drunk, to be gone, to obliterate myself in any drink, any drug. I want to get into fistfights tonight, and fuck other women, and not give a fuck in the morning. I want to buy a ticket to Holland, or Ireland, and just start again, alone.

I want to find heaven in the arms of a chemical god, tonight.