I have a headache.

I was just going to submit that as a daylog, thinking that it would somehow be surreal, and humorously blunt.

Later, however, when I returned to the scratchpad, it appeared whiny, stupid, and rather incoherent. Worse, it looked like someone could easily accuse me of Noding for Numbers and there would be no way I could deny it!

Thus, this small addendum.

The headache in question is not a migraine, a cluster headache nor a slurpee headache. It can be directly attributed to slipping on a wet porch and landing squarely on the back of my noggin. Thankfully, nobody was watching as I sped toward my back door during a torrential downpour of Diluvian proportions. As I tried to slow down to go indoors, I realized a split-second too late that my feet still wanted to move quickly.

I do not actually remember falling. My guess is that I dropped so quickly, that I was flat on my ass before my persistence of vision caught up with my physical location. My leg shot underneath my banister which has a floor clearance of about 4 inches. If you took a cross section of my calf you would see that the mean diameter is somewhat larger than 4 inches. My face was positioned directly in the Niagara-like stream of water pouring forth from my overflowing gutter. I am convinced that the rush of water on my face was the only reason that I was not knocked unconscious as my head bounced off the porch at Mach 5.

My first instinct was the get out of the rain, and into my warm dry house where I could attend to any wounds that I found. So I tried to stand up. Even if my leg was not wedged under the banister like doorstop, I would not have been able to stand, as I quickly found out. After a few seconds of mad tugging, I managed to extricate my leg from its perilous situation. And then I tried to scramble to my feet.

I almost wish it was on video tape so I could see how ridiculous I must have looked.

I'm glad it's not though. Scrambling was about all I could do. I could not manage to get on my feet. Between my current total loss of balance and the slippery porch, I had to crawl into my house like an animal. Soaking wringing wet, I scrabbled into my house, into the kitchen where a Toxick-shaped puddle formed underneath me. I tried once more, to stand - now finally feeling the pain in my head, my shin, between my shoulder-blades, and most of all up and down the length of my neck - but that attempt was unsuccessful. So I lay there for a few minutes, trying to not fall asleep.

I did finally manage to stand up, and I staggered to the bathroom and looked into my own eyes to see if they were dilating properly. They seemed to - and even if they didn't, I wouldn't know what it meant - so I didn't call the doctor immediately. I just put a bag of ice on my head, and watched Ghostbusters for the 9 bajillionth time. I fell asleep, but since I didn't wake up dead, I figured I was going to be alright.

I didn't drive that day.

For those keeping score at home: I did go see a doctor, in case I had a concussion or fracture or what have you. I pulled all the muscles in my neck - which is, incidentally, what's causing the headache, and in a few days I should be right as rain - and that's about it.

I'm on two doses of aspirin a day, now.

It could have been worse.