A couple weeks ago a wrote a daylog which was written like a journal of one who is trying to quit smoking. I wrote this because I quit smoking - and that was basically all I could think about. All I had on my mind was beautiful tasty cigarette smoke smoothly flowing down my throat and filling my lungs with their sweet nicotine filled juicy goodness....
Much to my surprise, several people hit the old blab! button and wrote me some encouraging words, telling me to hang in there, and that I will, in fact, feel better although at the time I wanted to smash my face into the nearest wall on general principles. I was not trying to get sympathy, nor was I looking for support; I just thought it would be funny to show the descent of a quitter's mind into insanity, and finally resigned acceptance. However, I found a measure of both sympathy and support, and for that I would like to thank you. You know who you are.
This daylog is an update, should anyone be interested. I feel somehow compelled to tell everyone that I haven't caved. I've stopped coughing my guts out. It takes me a good deal longer on the treadmill to get winded. And I think I'm finally beyond physical addition. The accelerated heartbeat, nervousness and irritability are gone. Well, the irritability has subsided back down to where it was when I was smoking.
The psychological addiction, however, is alive and strong. Every time I sit down at my computer at home, I want one. Every time I finish breakfast, lunch or dinner, I want one. Every now and then I get a baseless craving, and I want one.
I am told by several ex-smokers that these craving never go away - and that scares the shit out of me. I've also heard they become easier to bear as time goes on. So, I'm going to keep at it.
One thing I did find interesting though is just how horrible cigarettes smell. I was at my desk this morning, and a cow orker walked by who had just gone outside for their smoke break, and was returning to their desk. The smell could have knocked a buzzard off a shit-wagon at 100 paces. For this reason I would like to personally apologize to every non-smoker who has had to suffer through that vile occurance. I honestly always thought you were just whining.
Now I feel your pain.
For the record: Food does not taste better. It tastes exactly the same. Anti-smoking people should stop using this as a selling point.