Ah...the bright lights glare annoyingly outside the dorm window. There is some satisfaction, however, as a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes keep me content.
Is depression so bad? Solitude should be embraced, not shunned. I am thoroughly enjoying myself drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and listening to depressing music. It's not that I have to do this...on the contrary. I could be out with friends as we speak, but I prefer strictly myself right now.
Is that so wrong?
So what if I sit and think about past relationships. I'm sure many people do the same. Telling myself that "it could be worse" just isn't working anymore. Ha! Even as I type it, it brings a smile to my face.
Time for a beer...
Time for a smoke...
I wish I could explain this emotion right now. :) doesn't quite do it justice. It's as if everything is right now. It's like a puzzle with all the pieces put together...but there are holes in the puzzle...and the other pieces are nowhere to be found.
Time just seems to stand still. I'm not thinking about school, or football practices...I'm just trying to capture this feeling that is slipping away.
I told John that I would be down to the party in a half-hour. That's it! Listen to any Billy Joel song right now, and that is what I'm feeling. One less piece of the puzzle...
Is alcohol and nicotine my only comfort now? Yes...but they are fleeting.
I didn't mean for this node to be depressing...I think it came across as exactly that though. Oh well, there's always tommorow's Daylog...