I wrote this about two years ago, when I probably should have been finishing a term paper... or possibly starting one. I used to use it as an away message every now and then.
(with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning)
How do I love thee, Instant Messenger?
When voice escapes me, waiting there thou art;
Infirmities' e'er-staunchest deadener,
Unfailing outlet for the shaky heart.
Distant between, reducest thou to nil.
Thou bridg'st the gap most deftly to behold,
Unit'st the world when part is gone or ill,
And sharest our verbal warmth, though winds be cold.
A natural nervous temperament have I got:
In person speaking, I break out in hives.
But using thee, I fear a slip-up not:
Thy backspace key hath saved me many lives.
And yet at times thou art my chief unnerver:
Most foul of errors thine: "Can't connect to server"!