How to calm a cat in heat (idea)
See all of How to calm a cat in heat
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Thu Sep 07 2000 at 18:27:28
cat and place it on your
readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this
is followed, then certainly each time afterward.
Insert the Q-tip into the cat's
. It will be exposed and
. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other
. Either way the cat will begin to
, but there is a subtle and
difference in the scream of
and the scream of rectal pain.
a little until you can
Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat's
slowly at first, then more
. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a
digging around in there.
when the cat is
. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it
itself for a few minutes before attempting to
That is it, you are
. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat
What to look for:
that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of
that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. If humans had orgasms with the
of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as
A cat in heat is, with few exceptions, one of the most
things to have living in your home. A cat in heat will follow you around and howl at you in a
, hideous wail until you are ready just to toss it outside and let it get pounded by the local tom's. After a few days of this
having to drown a few kittens sounds
. This cat-saving technique was first demonstrated to me by a terminally un-squeemish
of years past.
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