I'm glad my grandfather had a great sense of humor. Some things heard at his funeral:
"You can hardly tell he had cancer."
"I'm glad Eleanor wasn't alive for this."
The following, however, are all from the pastor (who I might add never met my grandfather in life)... which makes them oh so unforgivable...
"I talked to Elmer this morning and he wants you to know he's okay and misses you all very much."
"Now I know Elmer and you, his friends, called your little group the Merry Makers. He told me you liked to sing. Can anyone think of a song?"
::sounds of confusion, trying to be helpful an elderly lady says, "Row Your Boat."::
"Great. Okay, now can all of you come up front and sing 'Row Your Boat'?" "C'mon, you know Elmer would have wanted it!."
::disguntled and confused collection of people goes to front of church and pathetically sings 'Row Your Boat'::
"Well that was wonderful. I feel better now. Elmer feels better. How do you feel?"