Is Something Nobody Should Ever, Ever, Even On Pain Of Death, Do!!!!
You all know how it goes. They meet at some social gathering you happen to sponsor for your friends. She thinks he's cute. He thinks she's cute. He asks her out, and the next you know he's feeling her up in a movie theater with you in the seat next to them wishing you were anywhere but in that seat.
I made this mistake when I bought tickets to a concert and invited the gang. Within twenty minutes my guy friend, let's call him Steve, and my girl friend, let's call her Jenny, were all alone paying no attention to the concert and all the attention to each other. From what I understood they didn't do anything their parents wouldn't have approved of that night. But then, a week later, came the dreaded movie theater.
They decided to go to a movie together and for some reason which I still don't understand they insisted that I, knowing both of them very well (these are both good friends of mine I'm talking about), had to be the chaperone. So, making my first dreadful mistake, I figured "What the Hell?" and went with them. I knew Steve was a bit of a pimp, but I also knew that Jenny hadn't been kissed before and I figured she wouldn't let it go too far and he would respect her on it. Hence my false sense of security that there would be nothing X-rated I would have to endure that night.
The movie just so happened to be The Perfect Storm. We walked into the theater and here is where I happened to make my second dreadful mistake. I sat next to the new (and while I didn't think so at the time, horny) couple. The first part of the film is very boring and really doesn't have much action. It was the perfect part of a movie to relieve some tension without really missing any of the plot, if you know what I mean. Amazingly enough, all was quiet for the first part of the movie with the two who were at the time what I thought to be love birds next to me. Only soon it was to be two horny beasts.
About midway through, the movie really started to get interesting. I was completely engrossed in the plot, and there was all sorts of action. The Perfect Storm, is, after all, an action film. Then I made my third dreadful mistake. I looked to my left and forever must I pray for redemption from what I saw. There were my two friends, literally trying to eat each others tonsils out, with his hand down her shirt, and, as I later learned but wished I hadn't, under her bra. It would have been one thing if these were two people I didn't know, but these are my friends I'm talking about, and seeing them do that was downright disturbing. And talk about timing! I mean, it's slightly understandable to do something like that when the movie is dull, but when it actually starts to get interesting??!! My friends are crazy. So, of course they ruined the entire movie for me, which I actually might have enjoyed had I been able to be comfortable and concentrate.
Of course, I didn't look again. But knowing they were doing that made the rest of the movie really unsettling and it was basically all I could do to count the seconds until the movie ended. But, I'm sorry to say, my woes didn't end there. After the excruciatingly long movie (well, it wasn't that long but it did seem that way to me!), my friend Steve insisted on giving me a detailed recapitulation of all that occurred in the latter part of the movie, including exactly where he felt, where she ended up feeling, and how he ended up almost soiling himself. Again, not the kind of thing you want to hear about two of your good friends doing.
I hope now you can see the dangers of taking two dating friends to a movie. Personally
, I'd rather be impaled
on a giant dildo
than have to go through that again. So, take it from someone who's been through it
, and never go to a movie with dating friends
no matter how hard they beg unless you have a date, and even then sit as far away from them as possible. Otherwise
you'll end up like me @_@!