I wish to address the commonly stated falsehood that "Feynman was one hell of a
womanizer." There is no more relevant basis for this claim than there is of any other male who finds women attractive and has had more than one sexual partner over the course of his life. Only, perhaps Prof. Feynman had more respect for women back then, than most men do for women nowadays.
Richard Feynman was actually quite akward with women, never really knowing why they did a particular thing, or thought a particular way. He was quite the gentleman to his dates, to the point of being used and abused. In
Surely you're Joking, Mr. Feynman! he recounts lamenting always being surrounded by pretty women, but never being able to get one to come home with him. Again, this is not exactly an unknown feeling among the average American male. It wasn't until he was coached by a husband-and-wife team to
not be such a gentleman, and quit buying everyone drinks, that his bedroom life began in any significant sense. And it took all-day of psyching himself up to be able to
not act like a gentleman that evening. This bad-boy phase also lasted a little less than a year, and only because
he had been told to, by women, and it was proven to work, repeatedly.
As far as is known, he was faithful to his first wife, until after she died of TB. Even in the midst of helping to develop the atom bomb, he still drove across New Mexico to see his wife in the hospital whenever he could. His second wife was not chosen for her body, but rather her mind; Feynman makes many references to her intellect and the fact that she helped him on numerous projects. His average "honey-do" list was composed of math and physics equations. Indeed, Feynman's own sister was quite intelligent as well and he often contacted her, requesting assistance on particularly tricky equations.
Feynman loved to paint and draw nudes, because he was fascinated by the human body, even the ugly ones, and his works, under the name
O'Fey, were highly sought out. A Massage Parlor owner once commissioned him for a painting, but Feynman felt that the requested image was far too sexist for a work he wanted to be involved in. He refused until they compromised and a rather less offensive image was agreed upon. Feyman did go to
topless bars, and did watch women dance, but usually found himself more distracted with scrawling out math problems on a cocktail napkin.
Though he grew up in a pre-
Women's Lib era, Feynman always had respect for women. For his first job he even worked for his aunt as maintenance at a hotel, during a time when having a female boss would be considered humiliating. He never made mention of being remotely uncomfortable with this arrangement.
These are not the actions of a negatively oversexed chauvenist that the term
womanizer conjures to mind. He was attracted to women, and had at least a few sexual partners over the course of his life. Richard P. Feynman was no different than any other straight male in America, except that he likely treated his
significant others better than most other men.