No sleep and nothing to do with my life lead with banal predictability to a debilitating bout of depression. The elements were as usual acting up against me, lavishing sumptuous sunshine on my attempts to tramp morosely around the glouriously unoppresive streets of Oxford.

Faced with this unresponsive environment, gave up any pretence of being a complicated character and went shopping, investing in two tops I didn't like and one pair of gloves I didn't need. Ended up in B&Q, of all cheerful environments, buying a single paint brush and strolling away lopsidedly to my chiropractor's appointment. It turned out I had one leg shorter than the other and my head was on sideways.

Kinks all beaten out, went home and fell into bed. Woke up at 4am and decided to write up the day's experiences. I hate Mondays.