So, I've been thinking about porking a chick lately. That would be pretty cool, although I'm not sure if I want to pork her the old-fashioned way or in the new fangled edgy modern way.

I guess you can just get into a car with a chick and pork her right there, in a parking lot or maybe on a hill or at some well known "make out spot." I'm not sure how cool that is, though, really. Seems like you don't have much room to spread out and experiment with each other's hot bodies. You could get a charlie horse or get an ankle caught under the dash. You can pork a chick in a bed, but that has been done to death. Beds are for sleeping, mostly, although you can do some comfortable porking there and be able to spread out a bit and try some different combinations. Porking in cheap motels rocks.

Sometimes you can work up a sweat when you are porking a chick. There was that fellow that once sang about bodies slapping from doing the wild thing. Once bodies start slapping, you could start sweating or might emit noises of some kind. Some of these noises can be a turn-on while others can be a turn-off depending on tastes and whatnot.

Usually you don't go straight into porking right off the bat. There are fun things you can do first involving touching and putting your mouth into nooks and crannies and so forth. That's always tops with me, that part of the porking, because you can be creative and experimental, especially if this is a chick you haven't porked before or have had limited porking sessions with. If the chick is married to some other guy, that makes it more fun because married couples have boring porking sessions. They usually plan them out and then ask each other dumb questions like, "So, do you want to pork now?" And the response is usually, "Right after I finish watching Three Men and a Baby." Also, the film Ghost with Patrick Swayze is a favorite of bored married chicks. Married dudes only watch action movies and slapstick comedy.

I'd like to pork a chick with a really cute butt, or at least I think I would like to. A nice round, curvy butt would be great to hold onto during porking. Sometimes I like it when the chick wears special outfits, but naked is pretty cool also, especially if she looks good naked. Then the porking gets kind of intense and the sweating begins again. Noise and sweat are often the sign of a good porking session. When the chick falls asleep during the porking it is a bad sign. Chicks often fall asleep during old-fashioned porking because it doesn't have the variety or the edginess of modern porking. There is a lot to be said for technique.

Old-fashioned porking can be decent, especially if you are rushed for time or both parties are into being animalistic about it. Just throw down and pork away. At other times you want the experience to be memorable, so you have to dangle some carrots and make them dance. When you get edgy, like porking parties do in the modern era, you don't want to get too fancy. You want to save some for later. Test the waters and see what flavors your friend in porking likes. Also, remember that what works for one chick isn't always true with others. You might have porked this chick last week that liked you to call her nasty names like "slut" and "bitch" last week, but this week's chick might be insulted and slap you for calling her these kinds of names. Also, not every chick likes being slapped on the buttocks, although it is fun to do so.

So, go forth and pork someone if you have a chance. Some dudes like to pork other dudes and some chicks like to pork other chicks, and that's cool as well as long as you are getting your groove on. Show your genitals some other genitals tonight and mix and mingle, but please protect yourself. Don't get anyone pregnant you don't want to have a baby with and don't get any diseases because that wrecks porking on you for a long time.