Tacos are pretty cool. You can still get a bunch of them pretty cheap over at Taco Bell. Dude, the soft tacos are the best because you can bend and fold them if you're eating them while driving to the bar.

You know what's crazy? Adult Happy Meals. That kind of freaks me out. Sort of like when Reagan imposed that New Coke stuff on us and made us have really wacked out hairstyles. What a legacy. Remember how Reagan made us listen to Flock of Seagulls all the time? That was some crazy shit. When he passed that law forcing us to wear parachute pants and Members Only jackets, we knew he was nuts. Not to like make fun of a dead guy or anything. I mean, dude, a dead guy making fun of another dead guy? That's like pissing into the wind. I'll always remember Reagan for New Coke, though, that much is true. That shit was awful and he probably didn't taste it before he started pouring it down our throats.

Dude, you know what else is freaky? I had a lot of sex when Reagan was president, but pretty much with only one person, except for one night where I slept with her roommate. So, it was steady, regular sex that was going on. When Clinton was president I had a lot of sex with a wide variety of women. Go figure. Dude, it makes sense if you think about it. I think I'm like onto something here. I had very little sex when George I was president and I masturbated a lot when Carter was president. This Dubya character tricked me into a ridiculous marriage that seriously derailed my sex life. Dude, it all makes sense. Have a can of Busch beer with me and give it some thought. Or don't. It's cool with me either way, but I got this twelve pack for less than six bucks. That rocks.

Life is good. It is a wild, wacky trip if you ride the wave right. I've been through some crazy trips. I had this friend named Dan back in the late eighties. He had a "secret identity" as a superhero called Pillow Man. He would take a pillow and put it over his head. His head would be inside the pillow case with the pillow behind his head in case foes knocked him to the ground. Then he would wrap himself in bed sheets and leap about solving problems and righting wrongs. It was all cool until he dashed into a convenience store during a late night robbery and foiled it with Pillow Man antics. He was lucky the robbers had no intention of using their pistol. Or maybe it wasn't loaded. I don't know. That was just crazy shit.

Dude, I had forgotten all about Pillow Man until last night when something someone said on the radio reminded me. I'm still rocking out to this classic rock. I was in the supermarket looking for free samples today and I was smiling and dancing around and singing Creedence's "Born on the Bayou" kind of loud. Some old people looked at me funny. I wasn't going to let them crash my mellow, though. I was cool, so I just smiled at them and told them to have a nice day. Then I really started getting into the music they were playing on the supermarket loudspeakers. They were playing that "nothing is going to break my stride" song. Except that in some parts of the store I couldn't hear the music very well, so I kept heading into the aisles that had the speakers and getting into it big time.

They were having a taste taste of single malt Scotch whiskys at the liquor store, so I checked in for that. After, I was leaning against a pole outside the store enjoying a cigarette when this young dude with a frowny face told me, "Don't you know smoking kills?" I wasn't going to let that break my stride. "Dude, don't you know that getting all frowny faced about what other people like to do makes you unlikeable?" I mean, really, dude.

And then I was driving home and checking out the palm trees along the road. Palm trees, dude. I made it. This was where I was trying to get for nearly two years. I keep forgetting to look at the palm trees. And then Mick Jagger was singing on the radio, "You make a grown man cry, you make a dead man..."

So, I got home and I chowed down on some hot dogs right out of the package and then had some potato salad out of a plastic container. Get a pretty good deal on that shit when you buy a really big container. I'm thinking about frying me up some of these sausages later after I have a few beers. Maybe I'll give one of these chicks a call later and see what they're up to and if they have any free movie passes to get me into a film or two. They give out free movie passes like candy here in Orlando, so that's pretty cool.

Been working on this novel of mine here and there, but I'm pretty much done doing anything except when I'm in the mood for it. I found this baseball game on my computer I forgot about and it has all the major league players and teams, so I'm going to play as manager of the Boston Red Sox until they win the World Series. I'm seventeen games into the season and we're 13-4, and on a nine game winning streak after a rough 4-4 west coast road trip to start the season, but friendly Fenway has been good to us and we're heading to Detroit later this week. So, I've got that going for me as well. Fulfilling, free entertainment to keep me occupied until a blonde waitress stretches her legs across my lap again. Dude, this is like so going to happen soon.

Anyway, it is almost time to go watch Magnum, P.I. now, so I'll see you soon. Oh, hey, look. If anyone can hook me up with a comfortable chair for my desk, let me know and I'll be like eternally grateful. New or used is okay, just no stains from bodily fluids or anything. That would gross me out.