Another jumper at the gates.
Interjection. I've often ranted on about how no one's input or advice makes a damned bit of difference to a suicidal person. In fact, advice worsens the condition generally. Unless you've pulled the trigger like I have, you have no idea what you are talking about. Depression and hopelessness are one thing. The desire to do away with your life is another. Reaching the point where you will commit suicide is a completely different ball of wax.
The cold truth of the matter is that the only person who can help you when you are contemplating suicide is yourself. Others may have the best of intentions, but their words are like nails on a blackboard if you are truly suicidal. If you are just talking up suicide as a way of bringing attention to yourself, that is something else. Fuck everyone else. If you are suicidal there is only one person you need to think about and that is you.
Now, stop thinking about everyone else. Stop thinking about their expectations, their demands and their image of you. Now, think about what it is in life that is making you miserable. You are likely on a conveyor belt meeting expections and following a preset course in life that just doesn't make any real sense to your inner self. If you are thinking about suicide, then what does anything you do matter? Take some risks. Throw away the present course and do something completely different. You can always kill yourself later if it doesn't work out, but you will more likely find yourself gaining more power and self-confidence. Drop out of school. Quit your job. Move away from people you know. Get off the treadmill and try something else. The nature of your life is what makes you miserable. Dump your girlfriend. Sell your car. Go to the beach or to the mountains and laugh at the fools who think they know how you should live. Remember that "should" is the worst word in the English language.
You want courage?
I'll give you courage you can taste.
Compare all the things you are afraid to do and all the things you are afraid to lose and give up to death and realize that they mean nothing in comparison. Now, cut the strings and fly. Fuck 'em. Start concentrating on what you really want out of life. Turn off the television. It is telling you what middle of the road morons are interested in. Become better. Become yourself. In the end you will likely decide you want to live. You don't want to be dead and you don't want to be a rat in a maze. Ride all night and laugh at the moon. You are better than this.
A little secret I know:
Death doesn't end anything.
Death intensifies everything.
So, if you are scared in life...
You will now face your fears head on.
Ready for that?
I didn't think so.