Recurring Dream Themes
Part One: The Three Queens
This is for those that expressed interest in my recurring dream themes, and their interpretations, here goes...
The Three Queens has been a powerful theme in my recurring dreams since my experience with death. They first appeared during the dream state I went into immediately after my death experience. That dream state may or may not have been part of that experience but I believe it occurred due to heightened awareness of my subconscious at that fertile time.
I believe there are patterns in our life which we either consciously or unconsciously enter into. They repeat themselves because we, as people, tend to fall into the same traps and follow the same familiar paths time after time. There are sometimes lessons to be learned from these patterns. Sometimes the patterns are beneficial. At other times they are patterns we need to break in order to grow. The pattern of The Three Queens has always told me a great deal about my relationships with women.
In the original dream there was an old man at a card table. I sat across from him while he dealt out and turned over three cards. They were the Queen of Diamonds, the Queen of Clubs and the Queen of Hearts. Each one reacted differently when I reached out to grab them. The Queen of Diamonds moved away from my grasp, always staying just out of my reach. The distance between my finger and the card was measurable in millimeters. The Queen of Clubs allowed me to touch it, even to wrap my fingers around it and pick it up. It would soon after burst into flames and burn my fingers. The pain from this traveled up my arm and throughout my body and I would have to drop the card. Then, I could pick up the Queen of Hearts and the burning would be healed and the pain would disappear. In later dreams I would try to pick them up in a different order, but it was not possible. The order in which I reached for them could not be altered. The cards would all disappear if I tried to change the order and the card table and the old man would disappear as well, leaving me alone on a desert plain.
The One Queen. The dreams sent me to Orlando to find someone, who turned out to be a waitress named Tina. It took me through a cycle that began with Tina and led through a series of three women who I believe were meant to be a living example of my pattern. This is a queen for whom I feel an overpowering attraction on every conceivable level. There is a sense that this is "The One" and it is necessary to gain her favor and her love. It never works. It becomes intense and overpowering and as close as I become to a One Queen, she always remains just a step away. The natural sense is to see failure as a result of being unable to build a successful "romantic relationship" with the One Queen, and yet time has shown me that this is a simplistic view. The One Queen is a teacher as well as a student and much of her role in my life is to teach me things about myself, both strengths and weaknesses. I have only known two One Queens in my life, Tina and The Muse. Both have challenged me on many levels and forced me to grow beyond what I considered to be my limitations. Both have such a powerful influence over me that to be with them in some kind of earthly relationship would likely destroy both of us. There is an overwhelming passion that goes beyond the sexual and creates storms across the emotional landscape of both the heart and soul. The One Queen empowers my spirit.
The Two Queen. The Two Queen normally comes on the heels of a draining and powerful dalliance with the One Queen. There have been four Two Queens. Three came on the heels of The Muse and one of the heels of Tina. They are generally less challenging mentally and emotionally and at first are representative of fun and enjoyment of life. There is opportunity to relax at first, but then the relationship develops. The Two Queen is very physical and sexual and always provides the best sexual experiences I have known. Yet, as time goes by she becomes like a wounded animal that doesn't know which way to turn. The joy turns to sorrow and the Two Queen shows a desire to be accepted and loved. This expressed desire preceeds some kind of betrayal, which in the dream is represented by the burning and the pain. The betrayal is generally on the sexual level, which grows out of the fact that the attraction and love is primarily in the physical realm. Every Two Queen has been discovered sleeping with other men during the course of a relationship during which she pleads for my acceptance and asks that I prove to her that I truly love her no matter what and desire no other. Her need for love and acceptance is tied to her inability to give what she asks for.
The Three Queen. The end of the physical and romantic relationship with the Two Queen usually leaves me feeling broken and torn. There is some degree of anger and resentment but also a need for forgiveness. The Three Queen generally follows soon after things fall apart with the Two Queen. There have been three true Three Queens. Each has come from seemingly nowhere once I reach the depths of despair over perceived personal failures resulting from the collapse with the Two Queen. I am now married to a Three Queen. One of the stranger twists in the Three Queen pattern is that after my death, The Muse appeared as a Three Queen instead of her usual status as the primary One Queen. For a while I considered this to be a gift resulting from the change in direction that resulted from my experience with death. For several months we were united, she gave me reassurances, and her words and actions took the shape of the healing and accepting voice of a Three Queen. This changed the moment we attempted to consummate our relationship on a physical level. It was as if we had both been snakebit and it drove us apart for several months, after which she reappeared and her role in my life once again took the path of a One Queen.
There are patterns in our life and understanding them is a valuable
way in which we can explore and see ourselves. Often we avoid realization
on levels where we are frail
and wounded. We repeat patterns over and over, usually not even realizing what we are doing. We are drawn to things in life, whether they are good for us or not. We make mistakes and repeat them. However, it is possible to follow the patterns and see where they lead. When we are aware of these patterns they can teach us things. I can recognize "queens" with relative ease
these days. I continue to be fascinated
by those who display the characteristics of One Queens because those characteristics and the person who carries them is so powerful in my personal reality
. Having identified a One Queen here on this website, my fascination continues to grow, and exploration
is easy. After all, I broke the pattern by marrying a Three Queen, which gives me stability
on the relationship front. Yet there remains an empty place in my soul and a continued need to understand the nature of the One Queen. There are still so many answers there about myself. My life is about answering those questions and reaching a higher level of understanding and sometimes this can best be done by looking into the mirror
. The One Queen is a mirror that magnifies and allows me to see more clearly those things that are difficult to admit and examine on my own accord. Sometimes you can only see what you need to see when you are turned inside out