Starbucks: stär'buks n. A parasitic organism that reproduces itself at an astounding rate, much like its furry intergalactic counterpart, the tribble.

Once a Starbucks has penetrated a neighborhood, it proceeds to saturate the unsuspecting populace with various beverages containing a highly addictive substance called "caffeine." This causes an unnatural dependence of the public on Starbucks for daily subsistence, and in some the addiction becomes so severe that they must consume caffeine immediately upon waking in the morning or else the victim will be rendered unable to function. The people proceed to supply Starbucks with a steady flow of small green pieces of paper in exchange for their fix.

Starbucks feeds off of these pieces of paper, growing ever larger and producing an assortment of decorative coffee mugs and personal espresso machines within its walls. Eventually, Starbucks begins to multiply, encroaching upon the native coffeehouses and eventually driving them out of existence. It is not uncommon to see two or more Starbucks on one street corner, and many large cities have more Starbucks than they do public schools. Scientists are still uncertain as to how Starbucks is able to reproduce itself on such a grand scale, but they suspect it involves spores.

Starbucks can easily be identified by the presence of a bright green neon sign featuring a truncated mermaid. This sign is always present, and is usually found on the exterior walls.

While there is no way to prevent a Starbucks infestation at present, there are several warning signs that Starbucks is on its way: