I shouldn't care...

...especially when she is online on MSN. I open the window only to find myself paralyzed and not knowing what to do except staring at her username. I am surprised that she hasn't even blocked me from her list. if she really wanted to get on with her own life, that's what she would do. Perhaps she's still debating on whether or not she should hold on to a dead dream. I for one can tell her that it was over when she behaved the way she did.

...if the women on the personals site ignore my smiles. These smiles are for only to give attention to someone you might be interested in. I've given out many smiles to many good-looking, decent women, only to fuel their ego a little more. Perhaps they're not ignoring and only waiting for me to e-mail them? I'm assuming here that giving a smile is enough, and that from then onwards, they make the next move. I'm quite certain that a lot of those women are just having a field day sifting through the numerous profiles of a variety of men. This place is turning into a meatmarket.

There is, however, one female with long, blonde hair I am dearly interested in. Though she smokes, she has the most daunting eyes (though not as daunting as those on Claire Forlani). And in her profile, her picture depicts her as a very trendy and fashionable person. She's wearing a bright blue sweater vest that has a high neck and no sleeves. Her arms are bare for all to see. Though her description doesn't say much about her, I was still mesmerized by the way she held herself in the picture. I want to meet her.

I finally received my book from Amazon.com. It's titled, "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson. After reading only 30 pages last night, I found the book to be intriguing. The author articulated all the feelings resulting from a loved-one leaving so clearly. She even tells of her own account of her broken relationship. I sometimes wonder if what she even proposes in this book as a "program" for healing actually worked for her.

I'll try anything once.