Doing my rounds
out in the body shop
resembles what a gore-fascinated surgeon in training would do in the ER. I get to see a lot of car guts and skin. I see what's behind the damage you or someone else has done to your poor widdle baby
. And I have some news for you
about your car:
The roof is two sheets of metal cushioned by corrugated cardboard.
The bumper is a big piece of plastic about the thickness of a Tupperware lid.
Behind the bumper, there is a dense wad of Styrofoam.
Your air bags have to be shipped by ground mail because the gun powder like substance that ignites it at the point of impact is considered, by the postal service, to be no different from a bomb.
Your rear view mirror is held on by a $2 bottle of glue when you bought your car. It will eventually fall off.
The most expensive pieces of your car, by size ratio, are the plastic moldings on the sides of your door to prevent too many door dings.
Almost all the sheet metal on your car has the thickness of the side of a toaster.
The top of your doors' frame can be bent back like tin foil if someone really wants to break into your car.
(For my area) The cars mostly stolen for a joy ride are Mustangs and Minivans (don't ask, I don't know either), while the ones never recovered are Nissan Altimas, Honda Civics, and Toyota Camrys. Their ignition cylinders break like candy.
You often don't even know where your fusebox is.
You seldom ever raise your hood to see why you have no windshield wiper fluid. Where do you think that neat blue stuff comes from, genius?
You really need to clean out your trunk once in a while, especially if it's expecting our company.
By the way, do you ever clean out this hunk of junk?
Welding a part onto your car means we cut the old one off, like with Frankenstein.
Most of your car is made pieces of plastic that are always more expensive than they're ever worth, and come in a bazillion different shades of gray.