It is almost as hard to tell someone the truth outright, when all you've known is that women are expected to make men work for knowledge about women, or this woman in particular. To throw aside the idea that I have to manipulate the scenario to "get" him to ask the questions I want or the answers I have questions for but am not asking. How on earth is he supposed to know?

I never realized how many men put up with this blind walking in the dark with women, how they are often succumbed to figuring out how to extract information from women all the time instead of just having the women tell them what she wants to say.

This is almost, I'd say, more annoying and frustrating than lying, since it is still a deception. It is also really hard to discover this about myself now, to have a man in my life who refuses to be manipulated in this way. In one way, I am energized by the challenge; in another way, I wish he would just behave like every other confused male so that I wouldn't have to change this drastically and quickly in order to keep his interest. But, you know, I really can't help wanting that which is harder.

He is without a doubt, the hardest and most amazing entanglement I've gotten into in years. I am thankful alone that I met him. The rest is yet to come.