We often find that instruction manuals for anything manufactured in a country that doesn't have English as its first language, are badly translated. This is usually caused by the literal translation of the words, and the subtleties of the English language are left out that give the sentences meaning. Sometimes, the manual is so technical, that you are confused after the first three words.

It is easiest to take the key words from the sentence and rearrange these in your head to give a proper meaning, or just an inkling of what they were trying to say. The following are examples of what could be read from such instructions:

Welcome and excitement greet you upon the purchase of your joyous happy No-Glue Required - Modelling Kit. Please be ensure instructions are included for your comfort and ability to please read. Thank you.

Well done. You've completed the easy bit - buying the damn thing, now try and put it together using these instructions.

Upon starting your TMC-382 Video Command ControllerTM you will be well being to insert batteries at rear panel 2b at shown in 4a of Figure 12.

Put the batteries in before trying to use it. You can find a picture of that in this manual, or just open the back and put them in.

Keeping panel 7b parallel to perpendicular seismic strut A, insert bracket into pinion stand at rear of panel 2a whilst giving gentle pressure to points A, D and F as indicated in Figure 16.

Hold the pieces up as the diagram shows then give it a shove until it all clicks.

Warning: If operated under extreme humidity, cold, dusty conditions, or exposed to shock greater than 1.2G, this unit may fail, and will require the services of a Certified Licenced super-nanotechnology Engineer to service. Do not attempt to open or repair unit yourself.

If you mistreat it, it will break and you'll have to buy a new one. You won't be able to find anyone who can fix it, and if you try yourself, you'll only break it more.