Uncanny Abilities (idea)

When the eyelids of a moth are sewn together, it is proven to have the uncanny ability to fly in front of the television screen during the crucial parts of any movie or sporting event being watched.

Dr. Spotwinkledonker, a professor and lecturer of “Uncanny Abilities”, has furthered her research into other such “uncanny” events by way of experiments funded by the Jamaican Cheese Moulders’ Association and the Scottish Morris Dancing Bell Maker’s Guild (Loch Slobercoc Branch). The good doctor initiated research into the following topics:

• Pets that die whilst being looked after and the owner is out of town
• Dropped toast landing with the buttered-side-down
• Cats sitting in the middle of the newspaper article that you are reading
• The person you are performing a lewd act in front of in a public toilet actually being a cop
• Every single traffic light you come across being either red or amber
• Any wild animal actually making it across a road
• Any member to have played cricket for South Africa having not accepted bribes
• The biggest firework kept in the box until last to impress everyone turning out to be a real fizzer
• Cats, when laughed at for doing something stupid, trying to look all cool and staunch then walking off when you laugh even harder
• Plants, once purchased, to die the instant you get them home
• Cars, once purchased, to die the instant you get them home
• Marriages, once honeymooned, to die the instant you get them home

The facts are still being collated, but the evidence is stacking up (although inconclusive at this stage) that God has many such practical jokes He plays on us every day, and He is, in fact, laughing his ass off at us right now.