Response from the Pentagon:
I think that all of these ideas are valid but they only try to staunch the ever growing problem of rising ocean levels. And all of it is far too little. Turning the Dead Sea and Death Valley into ocean fed lakes would barely skim a millimeter off of ocean levels and eventually we'd run out of higher ground to run to. These are solutions of retreat, solutions of cowardice, not solutions of combat.
What we need is to attack the problem head on, to directly confront the rising of tides. We must storm the beaches and send in the boys. We must bring the fight to the ocean and stand at the shore holding it at bay. Cooling the planet and reducing global warming would help but it is increasingly evident that all of this is too little, too late. Furthermore, such hampering of our economy and those of our super-power developing neighbors on this island Earth would be directly in conflict with the mandate of the American people. And frankly the option of exploding our stockpike of nuclear/nucular devices is tempting but would deplete our stock of peacekeeping devices that hold our ally Red China at bay.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends and Neighbors, Fellow Citizens and Backwards Foreigners, the way is clear:
WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
From the desk of Cobra Commander.