This isn't one of Rook's Wine Reviews, but I'll try to live up to their high standards.

Boy oh boy, is this stuff ever soda-like! Distinguishable from Faygo Redpop chiefly by its alcohol content (a measly 6% by volume) and price ($2.99 for 750ml), this Zinfandel goes down disturbingly easily. There's no vintage year on the bottle, presumably because nobody buys this stuff to wait ten years as it matures.

It's sweet, because it's punched up with both dextrose AND fructose. And it's lightly carbonated. So I'm not surprised that I swallowed about four ounces the first time I tasted it -- my mouth probably thought it was Red Flash. Fortunately, there are only three alcohol units in the entire bottle.

This is the Coca-Cola of wine: made by a huge corporation and sold for rock-bottom prices, full of sugar and CO2 and signifying nothing more than a pleasant plonk. If it were a cartoon, it would be Joe Camel.

Having said that, if you want to get a slight buzz with a pleasant taste that doesn't leave you too dehydrated, this may be the perfect thing for a picnic. I'm sorry to say it'll probably do very well this summer.