Thanks to the Internet Anagram Server, we can see that Rayford Steele was Left Behind because he said yes to deferral when ye fled Terra so quickly. He's a courageous fellow, not some dreary soft eel. He is a soldier in the Army of the Lord and he will draft ye or else. Don't leer, toady serf, for there's no lady fee roster posted -- true love waits, and waits, and waits. (Alert! Defy eros! Remember, Jesus never got it up -- he merely, er, "deftly arose"... as compared to his elder satyr foe.)

Fine food can cheer you up after reading pablum. Feel sad? Try roe. This is a real food story, and the authors just keep dishing it out. God must eat this stuff up -- we can see ye fart, Lord. It's the prose equivalent of Chick tracts: defy, leer, roast for eternity.

I predict that you will read story; flee.