Two Fidel jokes told in Miami:


Fidel Castro dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell.

So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff."

When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked -- St. Peter is having lunch -- and they start debating what to do. Finally one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage.

As they are climbing the wall, two cherubim see them, and one cherub says to the other, "Look at that! Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"


Fidel Castro is giving a speech about (what else?) the glories of Communism, and at the back of the crowd, an old vendor is pushing his cart piled with fresh fruit, singing out, «¡Piña! ¡Coco

Fidel hears the interruption and says, "Silence! Don't say «piña-coco» when I'm making a speech!"

No sooner than Fidel has resumed his speech, the vendor goes back to singing loudly, «¡Piña! ¡Coco

Fidel gets very mad and says, "I told you to SHUT UP!" And he continues his speech.

Sure enough, the old vendor calls out, «¡Piña! ¡Coco.

Fidel says, "THAT'S IT. The next one of you pendejos who interrupts me, I'm going to kick you in the ass so hard you'll land in Miami."

And the crowd yells:

«¡Piña! ¡Coco