Being a typical Australian, i enjoy a good BBQ. Pretty much doesn't matter what type of BBQ it is, ill like it. Beach BBQ, BBQ with mates, BBQ in the pouring rain, BBQ and drinking copious amounts of beer with mates, in the rain AND on the beach. You name it, im bound to enjoy it. I know many people like this.

However, there is one type i do not enjoy. That is, the dreaded family BBQ. I am (unfortunately?) gifted with having a complete family who also enjoys a good BBQ. Maybe not to the extremes i take it, but they like them nonetheless. However, this also happens to mean that just about every single family gathering is in the form of a BBQ. Christmas? "Whats on the BBQ today?", Easter? "Fire up that BBQ son, we are gonna make us some grub!". Non holiday gathering? "Cmon mate, fill up that barbie, we got a mob to feed". I swear to god, someone died and at the wake, we had fucking BBQ hamburgers.

Anyway, yesterday we had one of the non holiday BBQ gatherings. Now normally, these occur when i am (luckily) working, so i miss them. However, my parents plotted against me and had this one BEFORE i had to work. Now this might just be my family, but they seem to have this thing for telling stories when a BBQ is held. Not recent stories either. Its full on nostalgia at my place. They also forget parts of the story, and this is the precise reason that i hate this type of BBQ. My dad, grandpa AND uncle all tell stories, and each one of them get stuck on totally irrelevant parts.

You remember that time down at belair when we were kids? we were talking what was his name? Jimmy? Wait no no it wasnt him. Darn now what was his name? Do you remember dad? Darn, anyway we were talking and...god what was his name??? (5 minutes later...), ANYWAY, we were talking to him and then this car DROVE OFF A CLIFF AND KILLED EVERYONE INSIDE JUST TWO FEET AWAY FROM, what was his name again? i cant think of it...

Thats the kind of thing im talking about, getting stuck on the most irrelevant part of the story, which should take 2 minutes to tell, but ends up being a 30 minute discussion of a name they cant remember of a guy that meant nothing to them. Thankfully, this is when an alarm in my head went off, reminding me i had to get to work 3 hours early yesterday.

Remind me to NEVER see family again at a BBQ.