This song was written by Tom Lehrer for "The Electric Company" in 1972, but has yet to be released. It was aired on The Dr. Demento Show #98-36 (9-6-98). The lyrics are reproduced here with Tom Lehrer's written permission (see this node).


Like a rooster loves a hen,
Like a lion loves his den,
Like Barbie loves Ken,
I love to do things that begin with S-N.
For example...

I love to sneeze. *a-choo*
Pardon me please. *a-choo*
I like to sniffle,
It really feels nice.
One handkerchief'll
Just never suffice.
But brother watch out for the breeze
When I sneeze.

I love to sniff. *sniff*
Just take a whiff. *sniff*
I also like snarling;
It feels good to me.
Snarling is darling,
I'm sure you'll agree.
But I'm even happier if
I can sniff, *sniff*
and sneeze. *a-choo*

I love to snore. *snore*
It's more like a roar. *snore*
I like to snooze;
I like resting my head.
I take off my shoes
And I snuggle in bed.
Sometimes I just lie on the floor
And snore, *snore*
And sniff, *sniff*
And sneeze. *a-choo* *a-choo* *a-choo*

Sometimes I just like to snicker, tee hee,
Or snub any snob who is snotty to me.
And whenever I have a few moments to spend,
I can snoop on a neighbor or snitch on a friend.
But much more than any of these,
I love to snore and to sniff and to sneeze.
*snore* *sniff* *a-choo*

Source:'s unofficial Dr. Demento webpage (