1. I can't stress this enough: Symbolism
is YOUR friend. The harder you look for it, the more you'll see. Symbolism can never be disproven, either, and English
teachers will love that you "saw" the symbolism in a text.
2. Get a decent word processor
. Why? THESAURUS
feature. You can expand you lexicon
at the same time you impress your instructor.
3. Identify your instructor. There's two kinds of English instructor
s: Those who are overly politically correct
, and those who seek to offend. Figure out which one your instructor is, and write your paper accordingly. For P.C.
instructors, write about how a given character oppressed the minority
of the day. For offensive instructors, prove that a given character was right to oppress the minority of the day.
4. Use active voice
. Say "The Greek
ped the Trojan
s", instead of "The Trojans were bitch-slapped by the Greeks". Instructors HATE passive voice.
5. Write about a topic you already know something about. For example, I'm taking a class called Technical Presentations, and I'm doing my next presentation on IP subnetting
6.Relate your topic to seemingly unrelated things. As your instructor is awed by your astounding leaps of logic and intuition, he/she will have to give you an A. After all, anyone who can link Zen
to Quake Deathmatch
must be deeper than he/she is.
Sockpuppet, I certainly hope no one took that seriously.