Three things I'd like to cover today; insomnia, humiliation, and animal crackers without legs.

  1. Insomnia - the reason my eyes are bloodshot for five days a week. For the last six years, this usually meant I would suffer for three to four hours a night, basically enduring a repititive cycle of thoughts. Now that will change, the last three nights I've been writing in a notebook to keep me sane from 1AM to 4AM. At this point I've come up with a new movie script and a comic book. Upon reviewing my late night scribblings, I found myself completely unimpressed. I've never had success with forced writing or creativity, but it's better than tossing and turning.
  2. Humiliation - this topic only deals with the last twenty minutes of my life. On a smoke break, I felt a bit of gas forming in my digestive track. So I looked around, saw no one, and let the fart rip. As I loudly relieved myself, I noticed a familiar smoker around a corner who I didn't see. As she gave me one of the funniest looks I've seen, I turned red and hauled ass.
  3. Animal crackers without legs - this applies to the last 5 minutes of my life. I rarely eat animal crackers. But today upon munching on my 70 cent purchase from the vending machine, I noticed a large number of legs missing from the animal crackers. Now this could be a one time thing, but there were no legs in the bag. I found that quite strange. Makes me wonder if anyone ever gets a package of animal crackers that's all legs. I think I should get back to work.