Today is my 22nd birthday. I have always looked foward to my birthday, and while this year has been no diffrent, I've been looking at how much has changed in my life in the past year. I don't really have much to show for the last year of my life but regret. I still don't have a car or a job and I still live with my parents. While I have gained a lot of experience, I feel like I've lost more overall than I have gained. I have a much smaller circle of friends, I've lost much of my optimism towards life, and I've lost sight of my goals in life. I have achieved many firsts in the past year, but they aren't ones to be proud of. I've failed a college class for the first time. I've lost my virginty.

I do have many good memories of the past year, but that's all they are: memories. Too much has changed for them to happen again. I have changed too much. I like who I am, but I'm not who I expected I would be. I'm colder to people, I'm not as outgoing as I was, and I'm more self-focused. I don't rely on other people for my happiness as much, any more.

I'm not bitter, but I'm not better either. All I can really do for now is look foward to the next year and what I can do to change things for the better. I have my first real date in a long time tonight. I'm still waiting for the radio station to call me back about a job. I still have this wonderful place. I just need to keep my head up and keep trying, and I'll make it to where I want to be, eventually.