Like the millions around the globe, I was one of the individuals that found out about this atrocity during the morning news. Sheer disbelief, complete utter confusion, depleted human spirit. I ask why, but to no avail. I am not directly connected to New York as I live in Canada, yet I still feel the pain. I wonder what is to come. War. Mass hysteria. A miracle. Yet now, I have stopped asking the questions but have tried to start the healing process of the many people I help online as an online counsellor. An internal dilemma. How does the blind lead the blind? I myself do not know how to feel. Am I to deem this as an act of Nostradamus' prophecy? As a sheer act of the evils of humanity? As an attack on what many nations believe is the isolationist propaganda of the United States? It doesn't matter. I'm not one of great words, but I wish that mere words can utter what my humanity feels for the ones lost and for people who have lost someone.

Hermetic. I never knew you yet I feel your importance to this community. For the words that you have said, the words you wanted to say, and the words that you would have said, we miss you. I don't know whether it is appropriate as I don't know him very well but at this moment, /me misses hermetic.

To the ones who have lost someone out there, may the prayers of millions around the world help you console the pain that you have been forced to deal with, by inhuman shadows that lurk in the dark, that refuse to face you because of the guilt of their atrocities. May the wishes of the world help you at the time where you need it most.

For myself, it has been a day of contemplation and inner words. I wrote this today on my journal:

I will not dream fluffy dreams nor nightmares that I am so accustomed to. My disbelief has ground my senses to almost a numbing pain. I think to myself "I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." and find myself afraid of the consequences to happen. I try to not ask myself what or why things happen, but I am apprehensive about the coming days. How am I to help the ones that ask me for help? I think to myself "Oceans apart...Day after day..." from Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx. What am I to do. I don't know how to feel. I want to be able to understand and help the ones who need it but I know I'm neither completely able to or completely willing to. If war was to break out, I am not completely satisfied with everything else but for today, nothing else matters. For the first time, I feel the global community that I never completely understood.

Let destiny determine what is to happen. Do not let me know. I rather not know. I will not listen to the sounds of life that is to come. Nor will I remember the future for I will not live a life more than once. While my life may feel short, I ask that I be wrong. If I am not, do not let me know. For now, let the tears and blood of the victims teach the world what they need to do. If they need me, they need only ask me. Until then, let me fear the future in peace.