Today's been a heck of a day. Short yet tumultuous
to say the least. Full of damage control in many ways but at least got some decent work done. I don't know why things happened today but some form of destiny hit hard today.
It's been a short day, as I woke up at 2 pm. I stayed up late last night, thinking about the nights before. We went out for drinks and it was fun. A lady friend was distressed, and we all comforted her that's all. In turn, there was some sort of tension
there but that was all good. I stayed up reading my Legend of the Five Rings
book and just writing in my little book. It's been a while since I have written something there as I wasn't in the mood but now it seems that I am. I'm not really sure if that's the best thing to be doing right now but what else can I do.
The afternoon came and I spoke to a lady friend. I don't really know how it came about but I was trying to explain my simple inert emotions and logical circuitry and she took it personally. It distressed me to say the least and knocked me for a loop
. I tried to explain that she meant the world to me but I'm not quite sure if she believed me. What else can I say about her? She's just one of the sweetest people I've met and even in a short amount of time, it feels as if we're moving in the same groove. But again, I'm not quite sure what she's thinking that I feel but again, it is simply my problem not being able to express it properly. How can I escape my dilemma? If we were the same age, at the right time, I simply wouldn't hesitate, but it's not like that at all. But now, I'm stuck in a position where I cannot let go nor but I cannot go forward. I refuse to let go. It's not right. There is simply nothing else. She means the world
to me. There is nothing less but so much more.
Night fell, and I found myself shopping at Ikea
, where I work. I would up buying some stuff for the living room that we might use for the redecorating. Interesting but expensive. The overall layout of the room will be different but different isn't necessarily a good thing. But, as always, I'll let the decisions be made by the females of my family, the ones who have the creative gene. All I need to know is how much I have to pay and when. I don't really care. There are more complicated things to worry about than money.
I started ahead on my Microeconomics
homework. Easy but tricky. I had to reread the chapter. I didn't want to really get cocky and wanted to make sure that I still got the highest mark in the class after the assignment. I'm still in shock that I did so well but it wasn't a bad surprise.
The night progressed, and I found out that I wouldn't be able to go to the CVC dance at UBC
. While disappointed, I didn't really care much. I wouldn't really want to go other than to make sure that my friends wouldn't have to worry about them having fun drinking without paying high fares for taxis. I'm a sucker. It's time for me to pay them back for the kindness that they have blessed me with.
Eleven o' clock came and Trish called. It's been a while and we chatted for a little while. It wasn't really much but at least it was a start. We might meet next tuesday, but depends if it can happen. C'est La Vie
One o' clock came and my friend calls. "Hello?" I say. "I have a problem man..." he says. It turns out that he might have gotten his 15 year old girlfriend pregnant. I would have left him hanging since he has left me out to dry before, but let history be history. I wasn't going to let him suffer. I came to him, and we called some crisis center
s but to no avail. Finally, we went to the emergency room
and talked to a nurse about the options at his disposal. I finally drove him home and wrote him instructions on how to deal with it. I shook his hand, but finally gave him a hug. He was my friend. Mistakes and errors have happened but I never stopped being his.
Now I'm here, just typing away like a maniac. I am left to think what to do for tomorrow, knowing that I will be asked for help again. I can't sleep now, worrying about his well being and for his girlfriend's well being as well. Someday, I'll figure out whether concern is a boon or a burden. For now, I'm gonna sit here, with my ovaltine
, and call it a night.
"As I look into your eyes, I see all the reasons why,
My life's worth a thousand skies, You're the simplest love I've known, and the purest one alone. No, you'll never be alone. My baby you, are the reason I could fly. And cause of you, I don't have to wonder why. Baby you, There's no more just getting by. You're the reason i feel so alive. Though these words I sing are true, They still fail to capture you as mere words can only do...." (Mark Anthony's My Baby You)