Another disturbing dream. Third night in a row. That must be a record. Three disturbing dreams in a row. Only if I could attend
UBC that many days in a row, I would be a genius by now.
The last thing I remember before falling asleep is glaring at the back of my eyelids. It almost seemed like I could see the liquids that coated my eyeballs swirling around in there. Slowly, I descend into the disturbing calmness of my subconscious.
Like any other dreams, I don't remember the beginning. I remember playing basketball with a lady friend of mine. I didn't want to play seriously so we played
21. Lovely game. I beat her to the ground. I tried to lose. I didn't look when I was shooting. I threw it towards the street but she kept on counting them as points.
She turns her back on me. I grab her hand, but she swings back and slaps me. She leaves no mark, other than a hairline slice across my face. She asks me to beg, but I turn back. I lean to my side, placing my hand on my wound. She's there, apologizing, and giving me a
kiss on my cheek.
I try to walk away, putting on my rollerblades. But they can't fit. I ask her if she has some oil to use to see if I can slide my feet in. She rages again, this time, more violently.
I roll to the side, as she jumps on me. She attacks me, and I don't want to hurt her. I don't lay a hand on her but a mark is left across her face. I didn't hit her. At least that is what I knew was to be true. Then she tells me that I don't love her anymore. That was a shock. We were just friends. We were friends from school. Then she cries on me and tells me that she loves me. She gets up, inspecting the grass stain on her left knee on her jeans. She leans over me, kisses my forehead. She leaves. I run towards her but every step closer her slices my body like I run through blades. I keep running. And running. and running. It hurts more and more but after a while, I just keep trying harder. I fall on the ground in pain. I shrug aside the pain across my face.
She stood there. Beside me. She tells me that I've quit on her. That it will never be the same. That I've let her down. Then a bright flash. I'm in the grass. Laying there, in the park where I've met her for the first time. I look up at the sky, and I'm bleeding. Hmm. Ironic. The happiest time in my life is when there is
solitude and when I'm bleeding. I close my eyes. Then I wake. Clutching my sheets, I reek. I've sweat all night. One good thing. I lost two pounds.