Today is Saundra Lee's birthday, she is turning 15. On this day, 15 years ago, the beautiful, brilliant, hilarious Saundra Lee, the girl that has made me my happiest and my most miserable, was born into this world. She is the girl that taught me not to care. She's the one that reminded me that it is my life, and that everything else is secondary to being the person I want to be. Saundra showed me so many things about life, but she did it in her own cynical, fantastically ambiguous way. I know that as long as I live, I'll never again meet someone as refreshing as she is. 

    Birthday...I Need A Gift.

    Being the unconventional girl that she is, she deserves unconventional gifts. Being the anti-commercial, broke, socialist-on-a-soap-box that I am, she will be getting a home made unconventional gift.

Flashback to this afternoon: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    And there I was sitting in my room, thinking about all the things one could possibly create for unique bastard like Saundra. Pushing my creative drive wholly into the task at hand, I came up with several terrific yet unfeasible gift ideas. A rubber....maybe a yellow.....Ha! A magnetic......Damn.

Off to the shower.

    Letting the water run over me, I was reminded of the Eiffel Tower. Shut up, I don't why know either. Ha! Out of the shower I went, to find material for...for a...miniature Eiffel Tower. What did I need...Hmm... Something sticky...Duct Tape! Several dozen uniform pieces of thin! I read your book, you magnificent bastard!

    Check. One Eiffel Tower. What else.

    Looking about my room for ideas, I sez to myself, STV I sez, "What the Hell Would Jesus Want." Then it all came to me: