Today I killed my first couch.

It was a mighty big beast, a hide-a-bed made by Sklar 35 years ago, before they became Sklar Peppler.

When we first moved into the house, we spent so much time manoeuvering that huge, green monstrosity in place that we knew, back then, it would never leave this house alive.

I started with a hide-a-bed-ectomy, detaching the mattress and folding metal frame held by a number of screws and bolts. Once that part was gone, the carnage began.

I dealt the killing blow on the front of the frame, severing it from one side of the armrests. Then repeatedly slashed at its pelt using a box cutter to expose the joints held by wood screws (yes, they used screws back then).

Quick unfastening by electric screwdriver and the carcass was separated into four parts, which was easily carried out.

Now remains the metal frame, all fastened by rivets, no nuts or bolts anywhere. Damn.

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