Did you know, Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" stars George C Scott and Karl Malden? And has been described as a "Hilarious encore to the runaway smash hit 'Sister Act' "?

. . .well according to the pirated version from China. Other titles include:

Kevin Smith's 'Jay and Silwnt Bob Strike Back' with this description "But proudly how long they can not be, and original this film does not have a share"

'Booige Nights'

'Swordfish' starring "Ahalle Beiry"

'Heat' described as "ALOS ANGLES CRIME SAG" starring "Al Pacione" and "Robeat De Niro" But on the back the credits insist it stars . . .George C Scott and Karl Malden.

The two lovely ladies on the DVD cover is enough to attract viewers to the erotic story of "Henry and June", but stars - rather alarmingly - George C scott and Karl Malden

The Infamous duo also appear in American Pie 2, Tomb Raider, Life is Beautiful, The Truman Show and the Civil War drama 'Glory'

The makers of pirated DVDs in China seem to think there is no point bothering with factually or even grammatically correct packaging in a market where English is - at best - a second language. They simply lift credits off one movie and slap them on covers of another, and another, and another.

From yesterday's The Wizard of Oz and Vertigo to the more recent Harry Potter, illegal copies of Hollywood movies are everywhere in urban China.

Some are produced using the old technique of spiriting a video camera into a movie theatre. Most others are perfect copies encoded onto DVD - some even with actor interviews, restored outtakes and other extras.

In Beijing, they're hawked by guys in suspiciously padded parkas. In full view of Beijing's finest, they thrust fistfuls of this week's theatrical releases in your face: "Sir! DVDs? VCDs? Mooooovies?"

The government insists it's taking action, and often holds high-profile destruction-fests of illegal DVDs and CDs. But show a police officer a block from the hawkers your freshly purchased booty and he'll shrug.

"It's illegal to sell them, but it's not illegal to buy them. What can I do?"