Where to start? I felt pretty bad this morning when I woke up. I actually got 6 hours of sleep last night as opposed to the 3 or 4 I managed in the previous 48. I spent 12 hours in the Columbus airport yesterday. It was amazing. It was one of those tests of pure will. Could I actually sit in an airport that is smaller than some of the malls in Georgia and not go crazy? I managed. I got home around 12:30 this morning. All of this would have been easier had it not been compounded by the death of my Great Grandmother a day before I had to fly to Ohio. I drove to her funeral and then drove straight back. It was more or less 9 hours in a car with an hour break. This was immediately followed by packing for my flight.

I don't have a lot of unique memories of her. It is more like one big memory of a kind and loving woman. My dad had always been her favorite grandson and I think it carried down to myself and my sister by default. She would always bring me the big 1 lb bags of M&M's when I came to visit. The hardest part of losing her wasn't her death. It was the times that I visited her in the nursing home just before she died. She had become senile and didn't really remember anyone. This was to be expected but it was still heart-breaking. I can handle a lot of grief but I couldn't handle my last interaction with her. I came into the room and my Grandfather explained who I was to her. She looked at me and began to cry. She was upset because I was in a wheelchair. Her mind was stuck in another dimension where some people were ten years younger and others never had surgery that bound them to a wheelchair and leg braces. I tried to explain that I had been in a wheelchair for a long time but she just continued to cry and tell me how sorry she was that I was in a wheelchair. I don't cry.

I cried that day.

I left the room that afternoon and waited in the hall for my Dad and Grandfather. That was the last time I saw her alive. It was a surreal moment to see her obviously slipping away from us and at the same time see three generations of men from my family drawn closer than any of us would normally even consider.

The gathering was amazing and I fully intend to do an aftermath node. I'll probably get it done tomorrow sometime. It was the first 'real' gathering I have been to and there are so many amazing things I want to tell that I'm forcing myself to take my time so it doesn't come out like a big blob of happiness that doesn't make sense. I'd like to pretend I am going to get some sleep tonight and then write the aftermath tomorrow with a fresh mind, but I am seeing Dave Matthews Band tonight.

This site constantly amazes me. Even at its lowest points I still can't stand the thought of leaving it.

There are no links in the paragraph about my Great Grandmother for a reason. Please respect my choice and don't message me about it. Thank you.