I wish I could remember this whole thing, but I can't, so I'll have to paraphrase it. (note: this wasn't actually said to me, but rather to the person I was standing beside)

He was driving up to Ontario somewhere; I think it was to Barrie. Anyway, at some point, he pulled over and got out for whatever reason, and went into the woods by the side of the roads. He then proceeded to take his clothes off (I think he said something to the effect that "I came into the world naked, so I was gonna leave it naked") and climb into a tall tree, so he could jump out and kill himself. But, as he was high on the tree, Jesus came to him in a vision and told him that there was a curse placed on him, and that he had to climb down and continue living, because he had to bear this curse. So he got down and wandered in the woods for a while until a hunter found him; the hunter laughed at him, and then I think fed him and gave him some clothes.

A bit after this he was walking down the side of the highway when the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) picked him up and took him to the station. They then proceeded to shine a laser beam onto the back of his head, reading all his memories, everything he said and did for all 30 years of his life up to that point. They then implanted computer chips in him, one on each side of his head, between the ears and the skull (he said they were still there, too) which allowed the police to know what he was thinking at any given time.

Eventually, I don't remember how, he got back to Prince Edward Island (now that I think of it, I think he said he hitchhiked, because he'd left his car on the side of the road when he wanted to kill himself). He went to the hospital there (the Queen Elizabeth Hospital) and asked to have surgery to have the chips removed from his head, which they refused to do, for some corrupt/supernatural reason.

This is where I lose memory of exactly how the story went, but somewhere it involved mafia doctors and the elevator shaft of the hospital being a gateway to hell (and this was said as a matter-of-fact aside, not a revelation). I'm sure I've forgotten a lot from the above parts, too; he was sort of like an odd, insane stream-of-consciousness. Or, as the priest next to whom I was standing later said, "Oh, he's nutty as a fruitcake."

Update: I have since been informed by one Cletus the Foetus that said urban outdoorsman may in fact be a man who goes by the name Frizzel (though when I was present he said he was Robert). To quote Mr. Foetus: Legend has it that that dude ain't crazy -- it's all an act. F. is supposedly very well-read, and only goes to the Hillsborough Hospital (the local mental ward --SB.) on cold nights. The "crazy act" is precedent so they'll let him in; but my sources tell me that he's not crazy. Actually, he's got it made, since he doesn't have to pay taxes. Pretty sweet deal, really.