It has been brought to my attention that you "people" think I hate all movies. This probably has something to do with how much Miami Vice sucked. Well, it's time I prove you all wrong. Here's a movie that kicked more ass than an evil kick-boxing champion against a dozen kindergarten classes.
That's right kids. Snakes On A Plane.
B Movies have been common throughout the decades. They are something of a rite of passage for most directors/writers/actors. Often, they'll go almost completely unnoticed by the public eye. Snakes on a Plane should have been one of those movies.
It was not.
Samuel L. Jackson saw this script and, based on the name alone, decided to be in the movie. Think about that. Samuel L. Jackson wanted to beat up snakes. On a plane. The man who played the awesome Jedi in Star Wars. The man who was beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish. This is one of Hollywood's most bad-ass men. And he wants to be in a movie called "Snakes On A Plane". You are a damn fool if you think it won't be good.
Credits
Director: David R. Ellis
Writers: Sheldon Turner / Sebastian Gutierrez / John Heffernan / David Dalessandro
Producer: Craig Berenson / Don Granger
Actors:
Samuel L. Jackson as Agent Nelville Flynn
Nathan Phillips as Sean Jones
Julianna Margulies as Claire Miller
Synopsis
I know this is going to come as a bit of a shock to some of you, but the movie is relatively easy to sum up.
There are snakes on a plane. Samuel L. Jackson has to beat them up. Because he is badass.
That is enough for me, but it seems they saw fit to actually make a real "plot". Whatever. I don't care. CannedLaughter's WU covers that well. Although Canned, I am very disappointed in your enjoyment about this wonderful movie.
Which brings me to my next segment.
Why Did This Movie Kick Ass.
Notice how there isn't a question mark in that title? Wanna know why? Because there is no question about it. Snakes on a Plane kicked ass. Period. Exclamation mark. Exclamation mark.
Lots of people went to this movie and came out with "WTF was that shit?" statements. I propose the following: DOUCHEHEADS!
Lets just go through what this movie promised. In an unordered list.
If you went to this movie expecting some thrilling character drama, you are a douchehead. Your head is full of douche. Why? Because it's a movie about snakes killing people. And Sammie J killing snakes. And evil english men throwing cute little puppies at snakes. That's the entire point of it. And you should have known that in advance. From the damn title (Well. Okay. Not the puppy part).
I'm not saying this movie is for everyone. I'm not that presumptuous. I am saying this movie is for anyone who is cool and awesome. I am the shepard who must guide his flock. You are all that flock. This movie is the field where I must guide you to.
This movie was not about suprising you with its wit. In fact, there are only two cool suprises. And they both come at the end. I have cleverly labelled them as "Suprise Ending 1" and "Suprise Ending 2". While nether are akin to, "OMG! THIS MOVIE WAS SO AMAZING IN ITS ENDING! JUST LIKE--OMG--THE SIXTH SENSE!" they are fun. Which is what this movie was about.
Fun. Snakes on a Plane isn't going to be nominated for very many awards. But it wasn't trying to be. The movie is there for the audience to just enjoy. To whoop when Samuel L. Jackson tasers snakes. To freak-the-hell-out when gross shit happens. To laugh AND scream when a dude's head gets stepped on with a high heel.
The first time I saw this movie, it was awesome. I went the next day with the same person and it was just as awesome. When it comes out on DVD, I will buy it. And a bunch of us will all get together and watch it. There will be shouting, cheering, screaming and all that jazz. Because this movie is about having fun.
And if you don't enjoy it, you're a fun nazi.
etouffee says re-review...I am english I am evil..grrrrrr!...loved this..and I will rent the movie because it is, in a word, true to its name-- what more can we ask of art?