As young as the day still was, quiet rain caressed the endless grass fields of North Europe
, playfully teasing animal life
. Where the grass had to give in for the roots of an ancient forest
, the heavy scent of a vixen
attracted all sorts of mosquito
’s, forming clouds of bugs high in the thin air. Just a few hundred meters away a young lamb
looked up into the sky. ‘Oh no!’ cried the lamb. ‘It looks like a dangerous animal lingers around my quarters!’ For a moment the lamb considered never returning there again, to enter a complete new path of her life
, but then she shook her head and nerved herself to continue her way home
. ‘After all,’ pondered the lamb, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen to me?
’ “You’ll die
!!” replied a voice inside her head
. “You’ll die and go to hell!
” But the lamb ignored the voice. “Bullshit
” she muttered.
The vixen smiled sensually at the animals that had gathered around her to check out the strange scent. “Chanel no. 6” she whispered. “Can someone get me a coffee?” Immediately four pigs stood up. “Two lumps please.” Five seconds later, the vixen had four cups of coffee standing on her desk. She gave the four pigs a short nod. “Leave now, please. I must focus on my new job.” None of the animals moved. ‘GO!” she suddenly growled, showing her sharp, white teeth. The crowd disappeared.
The lamb had almost reached her quarters now, but the scent had become too heavy for the lamb to bear. “Uff” she bleated. “How the fuck am I going to survive this smell the entire day?” Her cubicle came in sight. “Almost there.. almost..” Dizzily she fell down on her knees, and for a moment she thought she’d suffocate and die right there in front of her very own cubicle. “Who’s there?” An annoying voice came out of the cubicle. “What the fuck?” the lamb thought to herself. “The wild animal has entered my cubicle, that bloody desecrator!” Spinning, she got back on her feet.
“Who’s there?” called the vixen. No reply. “WHO’S THERE?” Still no reply. Then, a pale animal appeared in the doorway. A lamb! In a flash the vixen jumped forward and bit off one of the lamb’s paws. The animal screamed out in pain. “Nooo!! Nooo!!! NOT MY FUCKING PAW!!!” The vixen grinned happily and rubbed her belly. “Seems like I’m less hungry than I thought.” She burped. “Oh well, I’ll just save the rest for later.”
A swine entered the cubicle. “I thought I heard some noise.” He looked around. “Ah, Lamb, I see you met your new co-worker.” The lamb stared at her missing paw. “Ohh!” cheered the vixen and she slapped the lamb on the back. “Think of all the fun we’ll have together!” The swine smiled contented. “Good.” Lazily he left the cubicle again.
The lamb cried quietly. “My paw” she sobbed. “My paw..”
“Great” said the vixen out loud. “This office is just filled with idiots.”
Happily, she started deleting every single byte of stuff the lamb had worked on the past few years.
“My paw..” came a sad voice out of the corner. “Damnit.”