I'm having a rough week, and decide to treat myself to a morning at the salon on Friday. Thursday evening I call said salon and book a bikini wax, tanning session, and haircut. I've never gone tanning, and don't really wish to be a different color, but I've heard the UV rays can be helpful when one is feeling down. This will be my first bikini wax, and it is based on assertions by my friend Elizabeth and my gynecologist that the hair will take a long time to grow back, and will grow back more fine that it was originally. Shaving is a pain in the ass, so I figure I'll try it. If it comes out poorly, no one's going to see it anyways. Cheers for winter!

Day 1:

9:30am Friday morning. I arrive 15 minutes late because I couldn't decide what underwear to wear. I settled on a bikini pair and threw a g-string in my bag.

The receptionist welcomes me, I say hello to my friend & stylist, Brittany, and I am led back to a small white room with a cushy, reclining table in it. There's soft new age music playing. A nice oldish woman named Fran tells me to take my pants off and she busies about with a small vat of hot wax. I feel weird removing my pants, but Elizabeth had told me I wouldn't need to take off my underwear. It's a little cold, I'm glad a wore a hoodie.

Fran has me hold in the sides of my bikini underwear while I lie on my back. She puts some kind of powder on my bikini line area, and then uses a large popsicle stick to put warm, drippy wax on my bikini line. This part doesn't hurt.

Fran then places a small piece of paper over the area with the wax on it, asks me to hold the skin tight over that area with my fingers, and rips the paper off, opposite the direction of the hair growth. In stark contrast to putting the wax on, taking it off hurts. A lot. Not as much as I thought it would, but it's significant. I'm vaguely reminded of going to get a piercing - it's the same kind of fast, sharp, hurts-but-then-it's-over-and-you-feel-hardcore type of pain. It takes 2 pieces of paper per side, and she also has to dab back at a couple areas where she missed a hair or two. That part hurts a little bit more. She informs me that getting the shins of the legs waxed hurts like hell. Immediately after waxing a spot, she puts a cool tea tree lotion on it. My bikini line looks pretty red and angry, but it doesn't yet feel sore.

During the process, we've been making small talk and it turns out that the receptionist is an idiot. Apparently, one can't go tanning on the same day she gets waxed. Oh well, tanning's bad for my skin anyways. Brittany cuts my hair, and I leave the salon to go visit my roommate at the stationary store where she works.

About 5 minutes after I enter the store, my bikini line starts to feel pretty unhappy because the underwear edges are rubbing. I quickly leave the store, drive home, and change into sweat pants with no undies. I remain in sweats and no undies until I go out that night, in loose broken-in jeans and still no undies. Bikini line is still red and irritated when I get home sometime after midnight. On the plus side, I'm high and happy all day, probably due to a combination of endorphins and caffeine. Wheee!

Day 2:

It's Saturday, now there's little red bumps. I have to teach horseback riding outside, standing up in the cold for 5 hours. I pull on the previously mentioned g-string because it lies inside the bikini line, and head out. It feels okay, but I change back into the sweats as soon as I get home. More loose jeans Saturday night.

Day 3:

Still have little red bumps all over the place, but it's no longer sore to the touch, and it starts to look better by Sunday evening.

Day 4:

I'm now on my 4th day of no undies, and I'm starting to feel pretty silly. The red bumps are mostly gone, to the point where I wouldn't feel the need to explain them to someone who saw me in my underwear. However, the skin is still tender, and the idea of elastic/seams rubbing against the area makes me cringe. Elizabeth thinks I'm ridiculous, she wore undies the next day, as do most people. Apparently, I have crazy sensitive easily irritated skin. I guess that goes with being pale and blonde.

Day 5:

I'm back to my normal state of underwear-wearing. Huzzah! Bikini line looks good, I'd show it off if there were someone around who would appreciate it. I'm not sure it was worth $20 and the irritation. It's supposed to be better the second time around, and I'm a glutton for punishment, so I'll probably try it again. I'll update when I know how long the effects last. Keep your fingers crossed.


The bikini line continued to look really good for about 2 1/2 weeks. At 3 I would have needed some touch up with a razor. Comments from a male acquaintance include, "Wow! That's a really clean bikini line!" Since you have to wait for it to grow out significantly before you can do it again, I don't think it's worth doing as a regular thing. I also don't buy the node below stating that the hair grows back thicker and wider, since that's contrary to all comments I've received from friends, salon workers, and doctors. However, since I've only done it once, I can't comment on long-term effects from personal experience.

No kind of sensation is keener and more active than that of pain; its impressions are unmistakable. - Marquis de Sade