WARNING! LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD!
Release Date: October 1987
Title: Speed McGee
Writer: Mike Baron
Penciller: Jackson Guice
Inker: Jack Torrance
Guest Stars: Tina McGee, Rudolph West
Bad Guys: Speed Demon
Cover: Jackson Guice
A classic. In the foreground, Tina McGee (wearing a pink nightdress) is embraced by Flash (wearing his costume – kinky). They look in alarm away from us at a big lunatic in a yellow and purple hooded costume bursting through the door, sending splinters flying everywhere. Tina: "Oh, no! It's... my husband!" I have images of the scenes that should follow, of Flash hopping around on one leg pulling his pants back on, trying to find something to hide under or behind, while Tina reclines on the bed with an expression of feigned innocence, ready to say "Oh, you're home early."
The comic
At the McGee's house in Syracuse, New York, Tina has just told Jerry that she wants a divorce, and he is not taking it well. He rants jealously about "that superhero kid" before beating her up and calling her a word I'm surprised to see in a code-approved book. He then goes to the lab he works at (Volton Labs) to give himself his 29th injection of "steroid B-Q19", as he relays into a tape recorder that he is now ready for phase 3 of project Ubermensch.
Wally, setting up an entertainment unit in his Long Island mansion, gets a phone call from Tina, and immediately suits up and speeds off to meet her in the city, where he is unable to convince her to report Jerry's assault to the police. Instead, he takes her to his place for protection (and I sure hope he uses protection while he's "protecting" her).
As they zoom off from the restaurant where they met, we see a fellow trying to follow their path from on top of a nearby building, but he doesn't have a hope of following them. He makes a phone call to tell Tina's husband that he lost them. "Never mind," says Jerry on the other end of the line, "I'll find them myself". We see that he is now shaved bald, and has some wires and stuff sticking out of his skull. He talks to himself while getting dressed in a purple and yellow spandex suit, telling himself all about how the suit will automatically inject him with steroids, allow his body to handle the extra energy without burning out and how his goggles are keyed to Tina's pH balance, which will allow him to follow her trail. He speeds off, but lacking control with his new super speed he runs first into a police horse and then into a brick wall, but he doesn't feel a thing.
Now it's back to Wally's place in Long Island, and for the next few pages we're treated to the soap opera that is Wally's life. To summarise: Tina's not quite comfortable with their age difference (he's 20, she's 31); Wally's dad turns up on the doorstep to tell Wally that he and Wally's mum are having difficulties, and the money Wally sent them ($500,000) is gone on bad investments; the city council wants to kick Wally out because he's messing with their insurance premiums; Wally has an argument with Mr Gilchrist (the city council president) in a restaurant.
The next morning Wally is awake in bed when Tina comes in, needing to be held. They're hugging on the bed when Tina's husband bursts in, ranting jealously about Wally stealing his wife. Wally suits up, they fight, and Flash gets sprayed with mustard gas and takes a beating. Jerry grabs his Tina and smashes his way out the window. Flash staggers to the window in time to see Jerry miss a curve and run into a fuel depot, which explodes. Boom!
Good Stuff
The cover's pretty good, but the best thing about this issue is this ad:
X-RAY GLASSES ONLY $1.50
Hilarious optical illusion! Scientific principle always works! With these X-Ray Specs you apparently see through flesh and peek and the bones underneath! Apparently see through clothing! ... and "embarrass" friends – THEY'LL BEG TO TRY IT FOR THEMSELVES! Be the most popular at work/school! – BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY!
Flashometer
Flash's current top speed is just under the speed of sound.
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