Today I am angstful. I'm in such a bad mood, I'm making up words.

I have no real reason to be in a bad mood. Just about all the things wrong with my life are my own damn fault. And the things that aren't my fault, well, that's just life. I can dwell on it and be a basket case like some people I know, or I can get over it and move on. 99% of the time, I choose to move on.

But I want someone to pay attention to me, damnit! I want someone to ask me how I'm doing, and really care! I'm tired of giving and not receiving. I'm tired of caring and being shit on. I'm tired of my own inadequacies and self-loathing. I'M FUCKING FED UP WITH IT ALL!

My bottle is full, Lord. Grant me my reprieve and leave me to the world. I only crave happiness. I only want to sleep like a child.

Snap out of it Chris. Quit your whining and do what needs doing. You are in control, and you have to make things happen. Do the things you despise, and be stronger for it. Shut up, and get on with it.